idiot alright

Phew! what a day!
First I don't study anything for my vivas, then I get up late.I'm already running 20 mins late than the scheduled time and yet spend ten precious minutes in finding the damn dupatta (I hate this entire concept of wearing 'indian' formals for the vivas). I hurriedly reach my friend's place and because she has forgotten the helmet we make a detour to get it. And here comes the gaffe extraordinaire, after covering more than three-fourths of the distance I casually mention something about the file and remember- "Holy mother of Lord, I FORGOT THE CERTIFICATE!!" :o :o
My friend says it is too risky to go back now." You're the first roll number" :o But somehow I decide to go against my friend's pragmatic suggestion of first sitting for the vivas, explaining it to the prof and then getting it. So, I take an auto and ask the guy to rush like mad(which btw he doesn't :x), make a dozen phone calls to mum, ask her to rummage through my stuff, get home, grab the pesky piece of paper and rush back. Being a rash driver helps sometimes. Although I should be grateful to the all but one green signals I got in the way .It has been my observation that if you get a green signal in the first signal, the probability of getting more green signals increase. Although it is a function of a lot many parameters, so nothing can be statistically generalized. Maybe it was because I had just two turnings and maintained a near constant speed.
Anyway, I reached just in time. Literally, just in time.
I sort of like this ass-on-fire, dramatic life- BUT only in retrospect. :D

Watched 3 idiots yesterday, with my fellow 2 idiots :D.
Almost a week ago I fished a certain book out of my father's bookshelf-Surely you're joking, Mr. Feynman! It's an unputdownable book, if you ask me. How strange I didn't even notice it all these years when it laid there accumulating dust all over it. And the combined effect of both the movie and the book is a little unnerving.

I often wonder, ponder about this. Sometimes in a shallow way and sometimes deeply.Deeply,while yeilding to the rote system, but usually in a shallow way. But then, when I watch or read something like this, the thoughts resurface and I get restless, reckless, frustrated but mostly lost..

What is all this? This was not suppose to turn out like this. College was not suppose to be like this. The head should feel fuller after almost four years of education, not emptier.I don't remember when was the last time I asked a question, or ruminated on a problem. I no longer ask myself (let alone the profs) what is the immediate use of having to learn something.I seldom wonder why I still remember the basics of gravity learnt in school almost eight years ago but am blank about ripple counter that I learnt two years ago. I've been cramming like mad for almost a month now for the uni exams. It's insane! My way of preparation has undergone drastic changes. I hate it. It's so hard to do something that you disapprove of, but the fact that nothing else can fit the bill in this system makes it worse.This feels like a total discharge process. I was not like this before. What the hell happened? :( Something is wrong, something is terribly wrong. I wish I knew how to fix it. Maybe I do know, but I just don't know that I know.

I wish I had someone like Feynman around who'd first amuse me by showing his 'discovery' that no matter how I position my french curve the lowest point would always be parallel to the x-axis, and then amuse me more by telling that's because the derivative of any function at it's minimum value is always zero-basic calculus which we apply in complex problems and yet are unable to identify in cases like this. Or perhaps an unconventional Rancho who'd apply the elementary knowledge of soft water being a conductor of electricity to do something..ermm..well..something reeeeally fun :P
The point is I have sort of stopped exercising my brain. I'm just studying, not learning. There's a lot to learn and a lot more to well..yeah..unlearn. Unlearing is very important. Useless stuff, destructive stuff should be done away with. Now that the problem has been clearly identified, I hope the solution is somewhere around. I hope all will be well.
There's something about this 'all is well' phrase. JKR ended the series with. 'All was well', refuting the rumors that the last word was 'scar'. I like this phrase. It's more comforting than it sounds, in a rather uncanny way. I had a first hand experience of this today.

PS: In my school days some idiot must've been so pissed of being called an idiot that he/she made it an acronym for I Do Ishq Only Tumse!
PPS: How idiotic! :D

senseless prattling of a nervous mind!

In what can only be termed as a historic event, gujarat university for the first time dared to rebuff students' plea of postponing exams. Good- that the most malleable vice chancellor ever finally displayed some inflexible decisiveness. Bad- that we were lured into false sense of security till ten days prior to exams.
For some goddamn reason the faster exams approach,the more I desire to read random stuff-and that too not within the four walls of home,however comfy it might be. Everybody has a happy place,crossword is mine.Oh,how badly I want to go to crossword. A walk lasting for precisely 53 seconds from my doorstep takes me there. Landmark's good too but not good enough. Firstly I don't quite like the idea of a bookshop being crafted inside a mall and secondly it's far...it takes 3 full minutes to reach there.
Here's something new...ever since I started blogging I invariably keep thinking of things that I want to write about. I don't realize I'm doing it,but I keep doing it.I've so far thought of writing posts on the magical beauty of numbers,my infatuation for speed,some bloopers that I've made in past, politics,movies,fashion,swearing, about how life can be made simpler by drawing analogies from science,about how my mother thinks that balika vadhu is a regaling tv show(wtf!),about how my lifestyle has detached me from my passions-I don't paint anymore,I gave away my ladybird to our servant years ago-the cycle on which I raced with wind,neither do I dance inspite of having passionately learnt and madly practiced bharatnatyam for seven years. Why? That's what I want to ask myself. I want to go in an introspective mode,analyse 'em while writing about 'em. And totally abstract topics too jam my head, like today morning,I read something in the newspapaper and wanted to write an article on how I don't understand the concept of metrosexual men. I've always thought them to be guys who wear bubblegum pink shirts,wax their chests,have a swagger in their deportment and try to fake american accent by twisting the 'r's. But I guess there's more substance to it than what I perceive.
Just eight days to go for exams, loads to cram and yet I choose to blog at this crucial time! But I had to!! My head was clogging up :o
Better...much better :)
ps: My prep sucks,and I'm getting more and more apprehensive by minute :(

random

I found the comp on,as I was going to drink water(oh..the thirst,it's gonna kill me one of these days) and couldn't resist the temptation to come near it. "Oh well,I need to see whether the horribly purple coloured website has uploaded the time-table"-I said to myself. Hmm..it hasn't(I don't even have the heart to incorporate a vein of sarcasm),but now while I'm at it,maybe I should check my scraps.Great,Palla's back in a'bad! Well..that's it,I should turn off the comp now...or maybe just a peep at the blog.Oh no! I won't post anything,I'll just read my own posts.But it seems so foolish to come up to here and not blog.Maybe just a teeny-weeny post.Ok :)

Rnadom things that I want to mention:

- Process control sucks.
- My dreams are getting weirder by day.
-I make,on an average four timetables per day;Obviously follow none!
-Chinky and I had great fun yesterday :D
- I've not had college since almost three weeks now,and my atm balance is already halved :D
-My mother has unknowingly subscribed 'love tips' on her cell :D.She's been getting 'em for about a year now.I do the job of reading 'em. Today I read something that left me pondering. It said: Men fall in love through eyes,women fall in love through ears. I dunno about men,but the women's part is actually true.I have noticed I readily get impressed, both by an engaging conversation and by a baritone. A lot of people often think it goes unnoticed but it doesn't-voice is very important and so are the words spoken with that voice!
- I'm drinking yummy,chilled mum-made mangoshake even as I write this post :)
- Deccan chargers won again :)
-This new hairfall control shampoo that I tried today actually works-just three strands of hair rooted off till now :)
- My nephew amrik,is the cutest kid ever :)

chalo back to the grind :(

hiatus

Ok..here's the the thing.I'm looking at hard time. It took 1 week,2 days, a dozen insinuations per day from my mum, 3 different newspapers' daily horoscopes' warnings,8 text messages, 4 phone calls for it to finally sink in that I'm less than a month away from my uni exams. And the fact that I'm the only one who is not kicking any butts (errr..yeah I may use such a foul language-I'm getting panicky!) doesn't alleviate my worries. Man,this is bad! Why the hell am I such a laggard? :( I waste way too much time on net,on phone,daydreaming,watching trash episodes of spiltsvilla,listening to the cacophonous songs on 5 different radio stations(oh the goddamn high decibels..aaah..my ear drums,my pinna).God I'm sooo totally screwed. But at least the net wandering should stop.I think I'm the only one who's dumb enough to come online thrice a day.It should stop.Orkut,youtube,gmail,rediffmail,facebook-all should stop.And this blog...this is precisely why I didn't want to start blogging in the first place.I knew it! I knew that I'd be madly addicted to it...writing indefinitely about my little world,and the world that I see..it's like disneyland for me! But I can't.I shouldn't.I musn't. It would be like coldbloodedly murdering the already heavily wounded time. I hate it when my life's principle gets violated-Do things in life because you want to,not because you have to. But this I have to,inspite of not wanting to.
So,I'm on a break(hehe..this line invariably reminds me of ross and rachel :D). Off-hooks till the stupid exams get over.
I'll miss the blog.I hope it misses me too :(

PS: Thank heavens the plan to go to college tomorrow got cancelled.I'd rather pay a hundred bucks as library fine than go to college.And why the hell are these slowcoaches not uploading the time table on the silliest website ever.huh! world full of retards!

PPS: awww..I'll miss blogging :(

back to the grind :(

Ok-enough of frolicking,enough of orkutting,enough of blogging,enough of monkeying around.Now it's time for some serious studies. I'm standing a month away from my uni exams with no idea,whatsoever,of what the monstrous syllabus consists of. The other day,as I was talking to my friend Bhoomi we were mutually in awe of our own capabilities. How we brave the act of completing a semester full of course in just a month of preparatory leave! This is not how I used to study in school.Back then the formula that worked was-a little bit of study everyday amounts up to a year full of erudition. And it was a pretty healthy practice.Maybe that's why I still remember about the Young's double split experiment, Rabi crops, Ogden Nash's poem,Artificial insemination, P-block elements,Adenine-Thymine; Guanine-Cytosine, Roops of a few words in sanskrit, Bahubrihi samaas..etc. It was the right way to learn. Not like what I do now. I do not open books for a full semester and then try to gooble down the whole thing in a month. But still,my cbse education has given me an unchangeable habit of not being able to cram until I actually understand it. I can never study the way a lot of my classmates do. They refer previous years' uni papers and then study accordingly-studying topic wise,not ladderstep wise,or even chapter wise for that matter. But it's just so cumbersome-how can people do it! But they say,it saves time and earns more marks.I dunno..I'm not very fond experimenting when I know it is a crass way to do it.
Just a month to go,to top it there will be a reunion in mid-may. And if I as much as utter exams,the taunts would follow even on my death bed!
Holy mother of lord-I'm screwed! :(