Friday, May 7, 2010

Book shook

Yes yes, we all know facebook is a phenomenon. Was rather. After a good many attention seeking celebs who's who have thronged Twitter, it can be safely said that the birdie has dethroned the brainchild of a couple of Harvard geeks.
Thankfully, I don't get inundated with twitter requests any longer.What's the point, one asks, in having five degrees of connectivity (viz. phone, in person, facebook, gtalk, orkut-in that order) with the same set of people.None at all, one answers.The list below enumerates five things that i find irritating,rummy, amusing-all at once about facebook.

5. Privacy

When I was a rookie facebooker, I used to have a deal of trouble with the privacy of my virtual world activities. It was about that time I made up this phrase- "On facebook, I fart and everybody knows".I would tell it to anybody who'd listen.It was my finest line of defense against belittling of Orkut. Soon after I was told discovered about the privacy settings. I heaved a sigh of relief that I'd be able to take quizzes like 'Which Disney princess are you?' without being silently smirked at. I wish other people dovetailed this opinion of keep-it-private. But do they? Na-uh. No, I am not complaining but it's hard to keep a straight face at your seemingly drab and simpleton, door-se-hi-hello-college guy, when he passes by saying 'hey', because 18 hours ago you read on news feed that his ideal position would be cowgirl style!

4. Like

The only problem with this feature is that it is a gazillion times cooler than the people who use it.I suspect that most people use 'like' just to use it and not because they actually liked something. Any compulsive facebooker worth his salt wakes up groggy eyed in the mornings and even before he cleans his nictitating membranes or removes plaque from his teeth, he'likes' at least five different stuff on facebook. Don't be taken aback if you ever come across a status message that says- I just peed, and five people 'like' it.

3. The farmers,the dons, the friends and the lovers

There has been one direct consequence of Copenhagen summit. It has given huge impetus to the environment awareness, and as a result more people are planting trees-so what if it's on farmville.As my sarcasm skills are rudimentary I would cut to the chase and say-It's annoying! Ignoring ten farmville requests a day is annoying. Receiving bananas and pineapples every time you go online is annoying. My homepage filled with news feed of people moving up levels in farmville is oh-so-annoying.
If there's anything more annoying it's Mafia wars.I thought we were done with the Corleone family-inspired drama after screen adaptations of The Godfather. But the appetite for crime, it seems, is wolfish.
The good news is that these two are dying their natural deaths. The bad news is that friends and lovers have been ushered in to fill in their shoes. Yes, I'm talking about 'friend of the day', and'lover of the day'. Only if one could respond with publishing the bugger of the day and the nutter of the day respectively.

2. Social Interview, compare friends, and many such random questioning games

Now, hold that frown. Before you ask what do I have against these light-hearted applications, I would take a moment to ask what do these applications have against me? I'm not being..well..what do you call it..standoffish(?) without any reason. I don't mind my close friends answering intimate questions about me, but for people I know formally, answering such questions is not at all in good taste. And I know these secret analysts are the ones with whom I've hardly exchanged a word or two, because my friends have better jobs than pondering over my virginity or giving utterly revolting answers like i don't care much about books!
If you too, my dear reader, belong to this ilk of people who answer random questions about people who're as good as strangers,then pray accept this advice- Please oh please go get a life!

1. Orkutification of facebook

I do not mean it in a pejorative sense. I have a sentimental connection with Orkut, something that facebook can never achieve. I'm merely pointing out that facebook is going the same way as orkut. I'm getting the warning signals. Thrice, I've so far received 'frandship' requests in the garb of 'I want to do friendship with you'. Further still, check out what kind of communities have mushroomed. You'll be able to find a community on 'Na aana is des laado', and on'Agle janam mohe bitiya hi kijo' etc. I'm telling you, it's not looking good.The migration stats are growing by leaps and bounds. I fear...I fear very much that this too shall bite the dust.And when that happens people will drift to the little blue bird's territory. But as I've had enough,count me out.