mixed bag

This clearly was the longest gap between my any two posts. Back in business :) Well..no, not totally. I don't think I'd be blogging that often. I've lost the will to blog like before (how bad is that on lethargy scale?)
But, quite a few things happened in the past few days of which I'd like to have a record. Mainly because these things were neither memorable, nor exciting. In fact it would be safe to say that these were of no significance at all. I feel bad for such events, such memories. Events that were okayish. Memories that are not good, and not bad either. We tend to forget these. Like I'd always remember that amazing school picnic, or that feeling of riding a bicycle for the first time. And no matter how hard I try, I'd also never quite forget the nasty fight over a petty issue, I had with a friend. But there is a distinct possibilty that I'd forget the walk that I had today with a bunch of old pals. Very good memories. Check. Very bad memories. Also check. Normal workaday memories. Forgotten.
No problem. Diaries/blogs to the rescue (yes, diary is still and will always remain a first preference; there's a lot of clipping and a lot held back stuff in the blog-intentionally :))

Part One of the festival season over. Nine nights of Navaratri, five days/nights of Durga Puja and finally Vijayadashami. Maybe I'm expected to be in very high spirits. All ecstatic and jubilant, with fresh zeal and verve. I was all this and more, last year. This year..well..was not like last year. All my friends were in town a year before. No one came this time round :( I watched the ultra crazy garba videos of last year and became sadder. Durga Puja wasn't compensating either. This year has been a record. I didn't meet one single person I intended to meet. Not even one! Only the people from my parents' friend/aquaintance circle I see once every year and whom I greet with fake smiles. These people always ask me the same set of questions. I always give them the same set of answers. For some reason, they are ever so interested in the way I commute to and from college. ("Which bus did you say"?, "How much time does it take"? ). It's OK. I've got used to it. I also saw someone who somewhat jolted my memory. It has been so long since I thought of this person. There was a time when I used to do that extensively. The first glimpse was exhilarating but the next moment I remembered about his current status. A sinking feeling. Very bad feeling. I think my only crush till date who probably doesn't even know me!
And inspite of such rather dangerous possibilities which have the power to transform my sanguine disposition into a doleful one, I love going to the puja for just one simple reason- for her! The divine Maa, who is the most beautiful, most loving, most forgiving, most protective of all :) Besides, for me no music can be as evocative as the music of pujo. I love the sound of the dhak-that typical rhythmic percussion, the tinkle of the bells during shondhi pujo (evening aarati), the smell of the camphor, the dhunuchi naach(ritual dance worships). I feel protected. A feeling that no pain or sorrow in the world can touch me. It is a blissful feeling. A moment for which one is beyond happiness and/or miseries. Beyond the worldly pleasures and the sufferings. I don't quite know what kind of a feeling is that, but it spawns very strong emotions. It makes me feel really really powerful. Like there's nothing to be afraid of, nothing to worry, nothing that cannot be done or achieved. And even after it is achieved, it would be no big a deal. I can keep standing there watching the idol for ages,I actually do till my mother drags me away ie :D

Dusshera at vikki is always fun. I've been watching it every year for years now. It has almost become a ritual, but a good one. A huuuge effigy of Ravan is made up, stuffed with the most sparkling (and consequently the most polluting) fire crackers. All complete with an act that the folks put up. Lord Rama, brother Lakshman and devotee Lord Hanuman along with the vaanar sena conquer the army of the nefarious ten-headed king of Lanka and eventually Ravan himself to save Mata Sita. For obvious reasons, no girl from the colony volunteers to play Sita :D Which is why some or the other poor fella is coaxed into draping a sari, fashion a false plait, and allow Lucky aunty to put tonnes of make up on his face! After the last fragment of Ravan is burnt to ashes, these 'actors' tend to dance a bit-victory dance. More often then not the Raavan sena and Sita also join their 'co-actors'. And one can always hear someone quipping or disapproving- "Sita ko to dekho, kaise pallu lehraa lehraake naach rahi hain Raavan ki sena ke saath" :P And every year Chinky says the same thing-" Iski(referring to the Vaanars of the Vaanar sena) punchh kitni cute hain" :P

Met the old vikki gang after a long time today. Especially Prachi didi. I don't remember when was the last time I saw her. Oh wait! wait! I do. It was almost two years ago when she dropped by to say hi and I showed her our teacher's day pics. I think she might've broken a rib while laughing her head off at poorna's pic in a sari. Oh! how we used to ridicule poorna banerjee. How extremely hilarious it used to be :D. Only Uttara was missing :( I remember how much fun it used to be in those days.

I watched 27 dresses this afternoon. Sweet. I hate to admit it but I love romantic movies. I have a love-hate relation with romantic movies. I love them because..well..because of emotional reasons :) But I also hate them as they are a constant reminder of the fact that my life is not like those movies, and I so want it to be one! I have neither appreciated, nor longed for regular romance. As in, being involved with rather 'obvious' people-classmates, colleagues, people from the same friend circle. It's a nastily common thing. It should be like movies! The backdrop stretched across a couple of cities. An absolute stranger.Cynical. Not the very best of beginnings. A dozen heated arguments, a million sarcastic comments. A vulnerable moment. Get to know the 'real them' part.Change of opinions. Friendly bonding. Circumstantial misunderstanding. Big fight. Parting of ways. Revelation. Realization at the better-late-than-never time. A panicky search. A crazy confession...and they walked away in the sunset hand in hand :) Ohh and yes-it also involves torrential rains, skating, airport and a public speech-albeit, not in that order. Yup- that's my movie. And even if it isn't at least spinning such tales can be my alternate career, if engineering goes for a toss :D I mean, people with far baseless storylines are raking in moolahs!
Yeah, I'm gonna keep this option open, just in case...

I wish I could go on and on. But my body is screaming in protest. Today was very tiring. And I have my darned college tomorrow :x

PS: I'm very happy for Anu :)
PPS: I'm seriously at my wits end as far as the post titles are concerned. Help! Help! SOS!

i don't have a title for this!

Oh what a week! Full of strain, tough decisions, tension, wake-up calls. And it is just the beginning. Nevermind. Dekh lenge :)
But with every passing day, I'm finding it more and more difficult to maintain the blog. Not because, I don't have enough time (we never have enough time) but because all of a sudden I'm facing a dead end as far as the things to write about are concerned. As a matter of fact I don't have a particular subject to blog about even now. Aimeless keying..yeah..there are such days..yeah.


Tomorrow is monday. The week begins on monday. You're supposed to go to college on and from monday. Monday through friday-everyday. And even though I bunk a lot, I'm planning to go this week. Attendance shit and all :x. I mean what's the point in going when they've closed down my fav nescafe outlet :( Canteen's for the riff-raff, not me (*nose turns up high in the air*)

Today is my dad's birthday. Exactly a month after mine :) But he had to go on his silly office tour this very day,so we've postponed the celebrations by a week which means we aren't dining out tonight. Which in turn means I'll have to eat the most boring food in this whole wide world- roti, sabzi,dal and the ilk :x Nayh..I'll coax mum to make something else :)
When dad's outta town, mother and I dine out a lot. Mainly because it is my father who's excessively picky about his food, we aren't. We can life off on pizzas, baked spaghettis, chinese food or even a modest bhaji-paav. But my father finds it hard to do without a full course home-cooked meal. Hmm..anyway, as of now I'm reducing the volume of his bday cake( and in the bargain increasing my volume..aaarrghh..koi na, tomorrow I'll take the route that requires me to walk a lot :) ) Balance. It's all about striking a perfect balance.

A girl back in college is getting reeeeally nettlesome. And I don't know how to react. One is always at a loss of words when people you call friends suddenly start saying mean things! Why, why would they do that? I think I might confront her soon. Oh, I hate confrontations :x

I guess I should wrap it up as I don't have anything else to add..except maybe that the two pigeons outside this room's window are totally doing it! :P
Come to think of it, they've been doing it since I turned on the comp. Two hours!! By a pigeon's standards, quite a player boy! ;)

PS: I'm NOT a voyeur. It is..well..Mother Nature (yeah..capital M, capital N) :D :)

PPS: Hille le jhakjhor duniya..hille le jhakjhor :)

change

Guess who is the latest one to turn a traitor? I've as good as ditched orkut. I'm using my facebook account more often now and I've actually started liking it!
And this is not a sudden move to keep up with the trend. It is a move to avoid orkut. Or shall I call it Pandora's box? Yes, that would be it. True, it helped me in staying connected with my old school mates. True, it helped me interact with my classmates in college during the initial phase. True, I made a lot of wonderful friends from different cities. And knowing myself, I wouldn't have been able to do all of this without a social networking site. Mainly because I'm highly incapable of keeping in touch with people. Even the ones who once topped the list of my best buddies.I dunno what's it with me, but I have a tendency of falling apart. Had it not been for the internet I probably wouldn't have made any effort to keep myself updated. Keeping in touch over phone is.. well..irregular. Although I prefer it, but it still is irregular.I guess the fact that I keep losing my cellphones is a major contributing factor! Hence, this phenomenon was good. It still is good. But of late it has been the genesis of a lot of unsolicited things in my life. And it's time now to put my foot down. How I wish I had Uttara's courage to delete it and get over with it once and for all. But I can't do that, or at least not at the moment..sigh..
So, I selected the next best option. I'm trying to replace one with the other in hope that I forget about this one. And then I'll try to forget about that one.
I wish that day comes soon when one fine morning I'll wake up and gladly get rid of all these blight-of-my-social-life accounts, willingly do away with all the redundant email ids and be happy to write in my good old diary instead of a blog.
Yes, that day will come soon.

PS: The classroom humor is back! A droll professor has returned to cause a laughter riot :D

piggy tales

It is difficult. Studying something boring after dinner, with stomach full of food that is getting digested even as you're dilly-dallying about where to begin from. And by the time the hour hand of the clock sweeps a full π/3 radians, the eyelids positively begin to droop. At this time, it takes your cellphone to declare 'one new message received', to stir you from your somnolent state. It was from a friend from college about a rather alarming news. 'One swine flu case in our college'-it read. The eyes which were getting blurry a minute ago,popped out with sudden alertness.
"Good lord! who?" I asked.
"Someone from IT dept"-she replied.
And I started rewinding my memory. Did I meet any IT people today? Um..no. I don't think so. I did see a few of them a day before yesterday at the students' section while inquiring after the marksheets, but I definitely didn't talk to them. But then maybe I came in close contact with someone who might've come in contact with them. Or maybe I came in contact with the infected person himself! How would I know? I know very limited people in the college by their names, or even by faces for that matter. Which is explainable, as I still don't know the names of at least a dozen of my classmates..yeah, never bothered to find out either. But the point is..what are the chances? I do travel by buses.Of course it has reduced great deal this sem. And although travelling on your own is a time saver, thirty five minutes at a stretch for a heavily accident prone person like me is a bit trying. But I'm turning into a road rockstar- two full weeks without bumping into other vehicles and speeding tickets :).
My cold has not subsided even after a month. And my mother, like a typical mother is making a big deal out of it.Yawn. But now that there's so much morose news coming from every corner-swine flu tightens grip in the city,state sees its worst hit ever, first disease to be declared pandemic in the last forty one years,death toll soars up,new testing centres being set up-the paranoia is making inroads in everybody's mind. Even mine. My 'be-prepared' father had already purchased the n-95 masks two weeks ago and he daily urges both me and mamma to wear it. No, we still don't. He doesn't, either.But now..now I might. Ew!
It's funny, you know! The absolutely contradictory behaviour that people exhibit. Don't compromise with the roadside dalwadas, travel in brts buses only because they're for free, and please please don't forget to avail from the 'mega' sale that is going on in a mall that is a good twenty kilometres from your home- yes yes the same which records the footfalls of half the city- to buy one and get two free ,or perhaps shop for five hundred or more and get a kilo of sagar ghee free. And yet these are the same people, who'll run like road runners,covering up their noses and mouths with any cloth at hands' reach-hankie,dupatta,free end of a saree,collar of the shirt-at the slightest sound from the inferno- Aaaatchhooo!

It's a pity that swine flu is a communicable disease, and that it can affect humans. Think how easy it would've been otherwise, to prove/determine the real species of many a mammals who pretend to be humans. At least a few people I'm unfortunate enough to know, would've definitely been affected by swine flu.
But every cloud has a silver lining and I'm hoping for the best. Maybe after this they'll close the college for a week. OR maybe they'll curtail the college hours. OR maybe they'll stop sending letters to the parents of the students with an attendance shortage, which by the way I didn't receive. :) OR maybe they would distribute Bournvilles. Yes, I know the last one doesn't fit in, but what the hell! one can never get enough of chocolates! :D

No matter whatever dies out...Hope must live on :)

shit happens

Imbecile! Blockhead! Dumbass! Jackass! Moron! Idiot! Pigheaded! Birdbrained!
I'm all this and more :X

why? Why? WHY? Why did I do it?
I acted most imprudently today. Which person? Which abysmally foolish person would ever rebuff such enticing a proposition, hmph? I still can't believe I said..well whatever I said.
Ohhh..God! I'd been dying for this to happen and when finally it did seem to materialize, I thoughtlessly blew it up. Dream.Wish.Pray.Disregard the answered prayers.Get rueful.That's what I always do. Why am I like this?

I don't deserve to make a wish. That's what. Because even if it comes to me on a platter, I take it and fling it as far as I can. This opportunity that I let go, I'm pretty sure wouldn't come again. And this time, it's nobody's fault but mine. No person to pass the buck to, no destiny to blame, no circumstances to accuse. All my fault :(

No point crying over spilt milk. Pay the price, learn from the mistakes (especially the one that has been made thrice now!) and move on.

gen stuff

I turned one week old today :)
Seriously.
Erm..Ok, fine fine! It's one week, sixty months and sixteen years :D :D
Dunno about feeling older but I definitely feel wiser :)

Last week was super fun. I love my friends :)
There are times when you don't want to thank god, or even wish for something. All you want to say is-" Hey, come down for a while and party with us" :D

I don't want to go to school. Why do I have to go to school? I'd do anything better than going to school.
-Calvin.

I don't want to go to college. Why do I have to go to college? I'd do anything better than going to college.
-Neelanjana.

Yeah, it's true. Mostly because there's no NSP*. Actually there is..not totally nsp, but somewhat nsp. But that too is not possible everyday :x

I'm in love with my new glares :)
When I look at these useless xeroxed pages, like the ones I'm looking at through the corner of my eye, I get irrirated. God knows how many chopping down of trees am I obliquely guilty for :( Ever since I started my college life getting stuff xeroxed- most of the times absolutely unnecessary ones-has become a routine. The owners of the local xerox shops know us pretty well by now. One doesn't even need to tell them what all you want to get xeroxed from the reference handbooks, the ones that they don't issue on a student's library card because apparently keeping such books in our possession is like..ahem..letting in a bull in the china shop! (I dunno if the idiom suits the context. I'm sure it doesn't. But what the hell, I like it and I'll use it.)
I don't like calling a photocopy, a xerox. But I still do because that's what people understand. Twice, I tried without success to get a photocopy done and both the times I was told-"hum to sirf xerox hi karte hain'!
Fine then! xerox, it will be.

I want to watch kaminey. And I want to sit on the rides they have in fairs. There's no mela here..huh :x

Why does my father always need the comp when I'm in a mood to blog? :x

*NSP= Nayan Sukh Praapti :P

PS: This is a record post. i have never used so many emocons in any other post before.
PPS: And yet, these are not one millionth as expressive as my face is 8) (told you about my glares!)

I-day memories

I'll pick up from where I left in the previous post.

The program was good. it makes me very nostalgic. It reminds me of all those dances I was a part of in my school life, especially in the Independence and Republic days. I think the best of all was the one I did in 2nd standard-Aye Vatan, aye Vatan. It was my first dance performance of school life and easily the vividest of all others that followed every year since then.

There were some speeches that stirred us with patriotism and some that gave us a lot of time for idle talk :D
The flag was hoisted at 7:00 AM sharp, which meant that we were to be present latest by 6:30 AM. We had to wear our P.T(white) uniforms, and not the regular navy blue and white on that day. Prayer, pledge, a very inspirational thought, news and then the ceremony would begin. Flag-hoisting, rashtra gaan, a few more patriotic songs,house-wise parade, P.T, a few dance performances, speeches, history of freedom struggle, a few deshbhakti poems. And we sat on the dry ground under the scorching sun, playing with the sand and wishing desperately for the torture to get over. We groaned and sighed when the speech we thought was the closing speech turned out to be yet another intermediate speech. And then..the yellow pendaas :)
Such was a typical I-day at school, which I wished to believe then I would never miss. But that wish has not been fulfilled. I miss it.

Had just been watching those special programs on T.V where they take celebs to the border to meet the jawans. In one channel they took Abhishek Bachchan to the Tiger Hill, where the batttle of Kargil was fought and in other they took Sachin Tendulkar and Harbhajan Singh to meet the NSG commandos. I watched both the shows. Listened to the gut-wrenching tale that journalist Barkha Dutt told about a major who was the first one she ever interviewed and the also first one whose obituary she ever reported. The way some of the families of the martyrs had pulled themselves together, the way some still cried foul at the slightest mention of their names even a decade after they got slain.
Defence people- the personnel as well as their families are a different race altogether. A very very brave race.

In one channel they brought back a lot of messages to the border from the jawans' families and it was indeed an emotional moment. Even their family members seem to be made up of a different fibre. Fibre of sheer grit, valor exuding from every word that they spoke. And even after watching their families after months, even though tears wetted their eyes, when they spoke they were quite stable and firmly repeated that-"lekin desh zyaadaa zaroori hain". And one of them when asked-"Kya aapko yahaan border par apne parivaar ki yaad nahin aati?" answered with a smile-"Mujhe desh ki zyaadaa yaad aati hain".

Then in the other channel they showed some of the drills of the NSG commandos. And I have no words for expressing my awe. I'd read somewhere that the rejection rate in NSG is more than 95%. No wonder the ones who are there are so fit! Then some of them shared a few incidents from the very recent operation Black Tornado. The spirit of friendship that and responsibility that led one major to engulf the bullets that were meant for his subordinate. The way they forgot everything about food and water let alone their personal lives during the operation that went on for two days. I remember a clip where after receiving adulation from the crowds after successfully completing the operation one of the commandos remarked-"This is the real reason why we chose to become a commando".

I have utmost respect for defence people. I know everybody has. Everybody should actually. And the more I learn about their gallantry the more I hero-worship them. It's not just about the physical fitness. It's mostly about the fervor with which they serve the motherland. One would think that patriotic dialouges are delivered just in movies. But the truth is that even the actors in movies cannot emulate this super human passion and commitment. Imagine being away from your family for a major part of your life, putting the nation before your loved ones, living in a sub-zero climate with modest facilities, braving the bullets, doing every possible thing and sometimes even the seemingly impossible ones by jeopardizing your own life so that your countrymen can sleep peacefully. If this is not the epitome of selflessness and bravery then what is?

They had a very good reason to coin the phrase 'Jai Jawan'.