Little Women

Statutory warning : A painfully long post

If there has been a lapse of over a month between my last post and this one, I have little to blame it on the nonavailability of time. For I have only been moderately busy, and could have always got down to blog if I wanted to. But I didn't. Lack of inspiration can be a vile thing indeed.

So I attribute this sudden whim to blog once again to two extraordinary women- one fictional, another real. I refer to the inspiring and individualistic Josephine March, and the brilliant authoress Louisa May Alcott who created her.

I was a little embarrassed in the beginning to have started reading a book that I ought to have read when I was fourteen or fifteen. I have neither any idea as of why I didn't, nor any memory of being suggested to devour the great work. But having read it now, I think it is better that I discovered this book at one-and-twenty and not in my early teens. Reason being my absolute quixotic temperament back then. I'm not denying that my traits have not changed one bit, and I'm still as quixotic as I was, but with age comes a little pragmatism.

I grew fonder of Jo's character as the story progressed. I couldn't figure out while reading who of the four charming sisters was the main protagonist as the book gave all the four little women equal measures of attention, but couldn't help picking a favorite. Your favorite is the one you can relate to. Now that can be really tricky, you know. Because no two persons are entirely similar, and any girl can find one or more similar characteristic between her and any other female counterpart. So look for a character for whom your heart- celebrates when her efforts are acknowledged as they rightly should have been, mourns when she doesn't get what she wants for it reminds you of some of your own missed buses, defends her flaws for it knows that you have the same ones, seconds her decisions, desperately wishes she must not have the damned fate that looms somewhere around, is relieved to find that the bad spell is over for her. Yes, that's your protagonist! A person after your own foolish heart.

So, yes I rather liked the obstinate yet devoted tomboy, who turned out to be the main protagonist after all, but it was only after I finished the book and researched a bit about it did I come to know that Jo March is often recognized as an extraordinary literary heroine, very much like Elizabeth Bennet of Pride and Prejudice. But unlike Jane Austen who-much to the sentimental joy of her readers- penned a fairytale ending for Lizzy and Mr. Darcy, Louisa May Alcott broke many a hearts when she didn't unite Jo and Laurie-or Teddy as only Jo would call him. Of course she didn't keep her an old maid and brought to her world more happiness than she deserved( in Jo's own words) by getting her married to Prof. Bhaer, whom she tenderly loved. And Laurie after nursing a wounded heart from Jo's blunt refusal, began to ardently love and admire Jo's youngest sister Amy, who subsequently became his wife. Even though the ending was perfectly merry with the comforting presence of a big happy family, I felt felt there was something amiss. With little self-absorption I found what. I discovered that I'd have rather had Jo accept Laurie's proposal, for they were so meant for each other! For backing my feeling I began the research, and by Jove! did the whole world echoed my views or what? For they did, and passionately so! I read how Louisa.M. Alcott was harried with heaps of letters from fans requesting to change her mind about Jo and Laurie, and how she remained perverse about it. But then it was the love, response and demands of her fans that made her script Jo's marriage because originally she was to remain-as I understood-a literary spinster, like herself, as the character itself was loosely based on her.

Now, here is where the good thing about my reading the book at twenty-one instead of fourteen should come into picture. My teenager self would have vehemently protested and would have never understood. I don't claim to understand the reason entirely even now. But the only difference is that I can and I shall try. Both for the sake of perusing a swell piece of literature and because I daresay I need to make some discoveries about myself.

There are two ways of looking at it. Both diametrically opposite.

First: It is utterly selfish of the readers (including myself) to demand an alteration just for giving vent to their own unfulfilled romantic dreams. Deciding every character's fate is entirely the author's prerogative. And say if we leave that aside, isn't there something called platonic relationship? Even as I type this, I can imagine all the cynics of the world unitedly scoffing. Maybe I'm the wrong person to orchestrate this as I never really had a guy as a best friend. But with the experience of having many a close friends and confidants of the opposite sex, I can certainly answer in affirmative . Sometimes you're too good friends to be anything else. This, I vouch for. These things are so to-each-his-own types that a general conclusion is hard to reach, but if I speak for myself, I, even in my most coquettish days have never once flirted with a friend. I can't! And it's amazing how so many people can. Now, if some old friend is reading this and saying-"you hypocritical vixen, you so can!", all I can say is that I never flirt till I fancy, and if I fancy I don't put you in my friend's domain. So if I ever burst into peals of laughter at your codswallop that you called joke, it was probably because I didn't consider you my friend then and was merely flirting in good faith. Apologies.

The point I'm trying to make is that what Jo shared with Laurie had it's roots in the most uncorrupted days of their lives, when playing outdoors was the most important thing in the world. So, if they promenaded arm-in-arm and called each other 'my boy' and 'my girl', it was because the two buddies thought ( although Laurie did in a different way) that they owned each other, like a family.

So why my dear fellow readers of the book, do you take Jo to be stonehearted? I think it was immensely remarkable of her to not have acquiesced to her lovesick friend because she knew she could never love him the way he loved her, which would have been mighty unfair to him. Do you not think that it takes courage to look at a despondent face knowing that it is you who made that face look like that? And excruciating is the pain when it happens to be your pet face. May lord save us all from such agony.

Second: Then we can always see it in a different, though not so unexpected light. The stupendousness of the romantic tragedy. It isn't in the least surprising that by being denied a tangible union sincere love always achieves an eternal one.

Some wishes should remain unfulfilled for the feeling to linger around forever. For that 'idea' of the fulfilled state of wish to always stay alive. Sometimes it is million times better than its granted form. The history is strewn with such plentiful examples that I would make a poor display of my awareness if I attempt to cite a few. The yearning to yearn is passionately strong in us humans from the very incipient stage. Have you not seen how a child yearns for the very toy that is forbidden for her/him? It is psychological, I believe.You're halfway through making a sand castle and the surging tide sweeps it away, and you lament for you think it was to be the best sand castle ever made and nothing could have made you happier.Not pausing to think that it could've been the most hideous one ever made in the history of sand castles, but you wish to believe the opposite. And this cheers me up, as I sense optimism even as we pine away. It is our devout desire to make perfect endings but when we can't, be happier as it is ordained to have something better than a perfect ending. Everlasting existence. If you believe in this you probably can enlighten me more comprehensively and I'd be much obliged. If you don't, what are fan fictions for!

As I was chatting with my friends, while ambling down the road in the precious one hour break this afternoon, we all bitterly agreed on how time flies with miraculous speed. How we're very much into our twenties now and yet feel and behave every bit like carefree sixteen year olds.

But then there's also something I always secretly believed in, and which was wonderfully put into words by the Little women's mother or Marmee- "Children should remain children as long as they could".

I wish I could a little longer. It is ironical how while reading the pen picture of the tomboyish wild girl, a hazy face of a cheerful, messy girl just floated into my mind. Now, if you don't know how Divya Nair was you probably will never understand the irony, but never mind. While our novel's Jo never wanted to grow up, our precious Tayar was the one who made us grow up. I was a little scandalized at such a reflex action of my subconscious mind. Because no two girls have been more dissimilar. Why, she had no proclivity for literature or writing (or academics for that matter), was more ripen up than the whole lot of us, and flirted unabashedly. So totally un-Jo-ish. So, what made me think of her? Hmm..the curly hair could be one, outspoken audacity the other, always monkeying around could be a contributing factor and so could be her on-your-face ruthlessly honest comments. Now, wait! Am I disparaging her? Hell no! She was one of the sweetest persons I'd ever had the fortune to meet and also the vividest of all. The funkiest joker of the class who always kept us in high spirits. And whatever I wrote, I mean it in the most revering way imaginable. For who but she could perpetually rag the fellas, use their slangs on them, and keep us ever entertained. The guys scowled at her, as they always hypocritically do, at girls who can give them a dose of their own medicine. But she couldn't care less, and I loved her for that! She educated us about the facts of life much before and better than our biology textbook did, she taught us swear words so that we'd be able to recognize when somebody spoke them. She taught us that if you have a fervor for playing for the house sports cup or dance for the cultural award, don't let the uneasy days of the month deter you.And most of all she taught us how wonderful it is to laugh together even if it is at your own expense!Oh! what would we do without her. So, can you gauge my shock when I got to know that she was the first birdie to fly out of her nest? Maybe, you can. But you have no idea how near-fainting experience it was to see her coyly standing next to her hubby at their reception stage. Visibly docile, exuding feminine grace. Part astonishing, part revolting. Yes, revolting! Where was my partner in crime with whom I used to have capital times? One with wild mane, silly grin, mallu accent, reckless spirit and dollops of spunk.Who was this saree clad, eyelash-batting, children-loving, dutiful, domesticated belle? It was like watching my childhood dwindle away in front of my eyes. I started framing sentences in my head to say to her as I queued up for going to stage, for I thought I could hardly be able to stutter anything except congratulations to this intimidatingly stranger woman who was strangulating my girlhood. It was best, I thought to let Anu and Vandita to do the talking, I'll just smile, congratulate, give the gift, get snapped, grab a bite and get the hell out of there lest she formally thanks us for coming and requests us to 'please eat'. So as per my on-the-spot plan I smiled, gave the gift, muttered congrats and was ready to get discomfited by her formal smile and thanks, when she teasingly said- " Basu, tune bahot powder lagaya hain" :)

Atta girl! Saved my childhood memories. :)

I sometimes wish I had never reconnected with some of my old friends on social networking sites. Then I'd have forever cherished the sweet imprints that those lovable people left in my wistful eyes, but damn you facebook! You show me what has become of them, and now I don't adore them half as much as I did in some ancient time.

P.S: Phew! Unleashed. Finally. Feels so good :)

'09-lessons learned:

Often the most trying circumstances are the ones that teach you a lesson or two. There are some mistakes you've got to make. Some tears you've got to shed. Some vile people need to enter your life. Bad things need to happen. Only then will you appreciate the good ones and also the not so bad ones.
These are the major occurrences of the year which put me through a lot of agony, which I now think, was quite unnecessary. This is both the comedy and tragedy of looking at things in retrospect. You either hit upon things that you should've had done/said or things you shouldn't have had.

Year 2009. New semester began. All was well. Was extremely happy to be assigned an interesting project. The desired modifications were challenging and the expectations, encouraging. The icing on the cake was that I was to continue with my old project team- people who were more than team members- they were the people I had come to regard as my closest friends in college since previous sem. I knew everything would go smooth just like previous sem. Like all previous sems. Nothing would go wrong. Except that, it did.
Egotism is something that harms not only the perpetrator, but also the people who are subjected to it. But with friends, or people you call friends anyway, one tends to overlook and let go a lot of things.I completely understood when they say they couldn't contribute to the designing as they had to take an entrance (which btw was totally unnecessary at that point of time), So I and another teammate started doing both our and their bits, like I knew they'd have done. We looked up, rejected , discarded, archived something like a thousand plausible circuits, were asked by our professor-who for some reason refused to treat students as a humans-to make a million changes in a strictly stipulated time. But a billion calculations and trillion taunts and more than two weeks later one prototype was finalized and hence I told myself happily that a work well begun is a work half done.
But the good project, like a lot of good projects, looked good only on paper. It is frustrating when something that seems to be so simple doesn't work. But we kept working anyway. Our friends were still on a self imposed study leave.
One fine day they returned and we gladly filled them in with what all progress we'd made. And then kept trying to get the output somehow. Wow! now this finally feels like team work. And even if something was funny, and the vibes I was getting were not so good-I was too happy to sense it. And then one day I took a leave for two days for some important reason, on the third day celebrated sari day with college friends :). And when I got back in the lab on the fourth day, I wondered if I had been in coma for four years! The prof called us to his lab to reprimand us because we'd been very insincere and in his words 'dummy members'. Because apparently according to our 'outta-leave-friends-cum-team mates' we didn't do anything. I think that's what 'are-you-fucking-kidding-me' moments are like. Feels like..you know..maybe the before and after Tsunami scenario. The ugly turn of events that followed this are too sordid and too painful for me to type. And honestly I don't want a record of it anyway. But from where I see it now, I think being thrown out of the project that I initiated and nurtured was not a bad thing after all. Because I saw the true hues of people, was able to differentiate my real friends from the phoney ones, did another project that was of much more use (no, the grapes are not sour :D), and proved my mettle to the prof who later went on to praise us in front of the same people who were responsible for the entire mess. No regrets. Yes, I feel bad that things can not be same as before but I also can't have it the other way. People backstab. Life's like that. Move on.


My friends were worried that I had not had a major crush in years. The last one was five years ago (from that time). They kept suggesting guys after guys and I kept pooh-poohing them, until the time for a big entry came. Entries, actually. This would remain one of the strangest events of my life. Two guys who share more than their names, zodiacs, languages, heights, builts, intelligence. At one point of time it was actually as thrilling as a movie :D. Both of them were so similar and yet so different. They came at about the same time, stayed for about the same time and I started liking both of them at about the same time. And then there's the very obvious dilemma. I couldn't figure out which one did I like more. First one- lovely, Second one-too good to be true. More proper tags would be- the simpler one and the stud. But it's always wise not hit on someone unless you're sure. In anycase I don't casually hit upon people. Something that I need to learn before the clock starts ticking, but that's not until I'm twenty five or six. So anyway, the stud kept offering me ride back home and I kept declining it. And even though I used to cite some feminist crap as the reason for not accepting his lifts, the real reason was that I got too conscious of myself every single time (Shit! my hair isn't even properly shampooed, why the hell am i wearing yellow :x ). But on one beautiful moonlit night (talking of nature playing it's part!) I sat behind him. I knew he was blabbering something, but I couldn't hear him. For my insides were doing conga and there were a thousand violins playing in my head. BUMP...BREAK..."..and that's when my girlfriend said..blah blah"
Whaaat??!!?? OK. So, the sound of the surroundings is back.And that my friend is how a card castle falls. Never laughed so hard-at myself. Matlab what's with life! He could've mentioned it anytime. Anytime in more than a year long aquaintance. But no! He had to mention it precisely at my movie moment. And soon after this incident he started boring me with his silly girlfriend talks. But if truth be told, the more he talked about his girlfriend the more relieved I got that the person he's talking about is not me. For one, he kept on referring to her as 'my girlfriend'. Till date I don't know her name. Neither do I have any curiosity for it. Hopefully I will never cross paths with him again. And the simpler one, I found out wasn't so simple after all! But at least he's still lovely. There are times when you can neither eat your cake nor have it. But that's because the cake is fungus infested and you can't see it! Life's like that. Move on :)


But these issues are way too trivial. Difficult was the part when Chikny left vikki :( But she's quite happy and honestly it doesn't matter that much, like she said it won't and like we agree it doesn't. Ok, it matters a little bit. But only a little bit. And it won't matter much when we'd move out the coming year. Although she is quite thrilled at the prospect. Now I wonder why :P

'09 taught Acceptance.
Letting good people into your life is important but equally important is to let the bad ones out-accept it.
When I say bad, I don't necessarily mean bad person. Maybe just bad for your focus and your long term happiness. Although some are downright bad! :P

And also, cliched though it might sound, but still needs some acceptance. Change is constant. People might go to different places but that doesn't mean they drift apart. Uttara didn't drift aaprt, did she? Definitely not. :)

"Acceptance is the first step of understanding and with understanding only can there be recovery"- Albus Dumbledore :)

PS: Might've quoted incorrectly. My memory is cursed!
PPS: Only if Dumbledore wasn't gay.. :P

mixed bag

This clearly was the longest gap between my any two posts. Back in business :) Well..no, not totally. I don't think I'd be blogging that often. I've lost the will to blog like before (how bad is that on lethargy scale?)
But, quite a few things happened in the past few days of which I'd like to have a record. Mainly because these things were neither memorable, nor exciting. In fact it would be safe to say that these were of no significance at all. I feel bad for such events, such memories. Events that were okayish. Memories that are not good, and not bad either. We tend to forget these. Like I'd always remember that amazing school picnic, or that feeling of riding a bicycle for the first time. And no matter how hard I try, I'd also never quite forget the nasty fight over a petty issue, I had with a friend. But there is a distinct possibilty that I'd forget the walk that I had today with a bunch of old pals. Very good memories. Check. Very bad memories. Also check. Normal workaday memories. Forgotten.
No problem. Diaries/blogs to the rescue (yes, diary is still and will always remain a first preference; there's a lot of clipping and a lot held back stuff in the blog-intentionally :))

Part One of the festival season over. Nine nights of Navaratri, five days/nights of Durga Puja and finally Vijayadashami. Maybe I'm expected to be in very high spirits. All ecstatic and jubilant, with fresh zeal and verve. I was all this and more, last year. This year..well..was not like last year. All my friends were in town a year before. No one came this time round :( I watched the ultra crazy garba videos of last year and became sadder. Durga Puja wasn't compensating either. This year has been a record. I didn't meet one single person I intended to meet. Not even one! Only the people from my parents' friend/aquaintance circle I see once every year and whom I greet with fake smiles. These people always ask me the same set of questions. I always give them the same set of answers. For some reason, they are ever so interested in the way I commute to and from college. ("Which bus did you say"?, "How much time does it take"? ). It's OK. I've got used to it. I also saw someone who somewhat jolted my memory. It has been so long since I thought of this person. There was a time when I used to do that extensively. The first glimpse was exhilarating but the next moment I remembered about his current status. A sinking feeling. Very bad feeling. I think my only crush till date who probably doesn't even know me!
And inspite of such rather dangerous possibilities which have the power to transform my sanguine disposition into a doleful one, I love going to the puja for just one simple reason- for her! The divine Maa, who is the most beautiful, most loving, most forgiving, most protective of all :) Besides, for me no music can be as evocative as the music of pujo. I love the sound of the dhak-that typical rhythmic percussion, the tinkle of the bells during shondhi pujo (evening aarati), the smell of the camphor, the dhunuchi naach(ritual dance worships). I feel protected. A feeling that no pain or sorrow in the world can touch me. It is a blissful feeling. A moment for which one is beyond happiness and/or miseries. Beyond the worldly pleasures and the sufferings. I don't quite know what kind of a feeling is that, but it spawns very strong emotions. It makes me feel really really powerful. Like there's nothing to be afraid of, nothing to worry, nothing that cannot be done or achieved. And even after it is achieved, it would be no big a deal. I can keep standing there watching the idol for ages,I actually do till my mother drags me away ie :D

Dusshera at vikki is always fun. I've been watching it every year for years now. It has almost become a ritual, but a good one. A huuuge effigy of Ravan is made up, stuffed with the most sparkling (and consequently the most polluting) fire crackers. All complete with an act that the folks put up. Lord Rama, brother Lakshman and devotee Lord Hanuman along with the vaanar sena conquer the army of the nefarious ten-headed king of Lanka and eventually Ravan himself to save Mata Sita. For obvious reasons, no girl from the colony volunteers to play Sita :D Which is why some or the other poor fella is coaxed into draping a sari, fashion a false plait, and allow Lucky aunty to put tonnes of make up on his face! After the last fragment of Ravan is burnt to ashes, these 'actors' tend to dance a bit-victory dance. More often then not the Raavan sena and Sita also join their 'co-actors'. And one can always hear someone quipping or disapproving- "Sita ko to dekho, kaise pallu lehraa lehraake naach rahi hain Raavan ki sena ke saath" :P And every year Chinky says the same thing-" Iski(referring to the Vaanars of the Vaanar sena) punchh kitni cute hain" :P

Met the old vikki gang after a long time today. Especially Prachi didi. I don't remember when was the last time I saw her. Oh wait! wait! I do. It was almost two years ago when she dropped by to say hi and I showed her our teacher's day pics. I think she might've broken a rib while laughing her head off at poorna's pic in a sari. Oh! how we used to ridicule poorna banerjee. How extremely hilarious it used to be :D. Only Uttara was missing :( I remember how much fun it used to be in those days.

I watched 27 dresses this afternoon. Sweet. I hate to admit it but I love romantic movies. I have a love-hate relation with romantic movies. I love them because..well..because of emotional reasons :) But I also hate them as they are a constant reminder of the fact that my life is not like those movies, and I so want it to be one! I have neither appreciated, nor longed for regular romance. As in, being involved with rather 'obvious' people-classmates, colleagues, people from the same friend circle. It's a nastily common thing. It should be like movies! The backdrop stretched across a couple of cities. An absolute stranger.Cynical. Not the very best of beginnings. A dozen heated arguments, a million sarcastic comments. A vulnerable moment. Get to know the 'real them' part.Change of opinions. Friendly bonding. Circumstantial misunderstanding. Big fight. Parting of ways. Revelation. Realization at the better-late-than-never time. A panicky search. A crazy confession...and they walked away in the sunset hand in hand :) Ohh and yes-it also involves torrential rains, skating, airport and a public speech-albeit, not in that order. Yup- that's my movie. And even if it isn't at least spinning such tales can be my alternate career, if engineering goes for a toss :D I mean, people with far baseless storylines are raking in moolahs!
Yeah, I'm gonna keep this option open, just in case...

I wish I could go on and on. But my body is screaming in protest. Today was very tiring. And I have my darned college tomorrow :x

PS: I'm very happy for Anu :)
PPS: I'm seriously at my wits end as far as the post titles are concerned. Help! Help! SOS!

I'm lovin' it :)

I've been having soooo much fun since yesterday!! It was after a long long long time I laughed so much that my tummy still hurts :)
I realized two things, things that I knew all along anyway. A.) The spur-of-the-moment meet ups are much better than the pre-planned ones. Nothing in this world can beat spontaneity of actions. And, B.) The reason I keep criticizing the rather repulsive guys back in college is because for twelve long years I've studied and practically grown up with people who can only be described as the height of cool. Now I know, my opinions are obviously going to be biased,but chinky agrees too. She has not studied with us, she is oblivious to the myriad class/school incidents that we reminicse and then laugh our guts out and yet she laughs with us with equal mirth. Not because she's too polite (which btw she is), also not because she'll laugh on absolutely anything but because- they're actually funny, and the ways in which they're narrated are funnier.

The plan yesterday was to meet Debanshu only and that too for a couple of minutes,I didn't know that Hemant and Aniruddh would be accompanying him. Again by a stroke of pure luck Parth happened to be at Vikki as well. As we stood chatting,we didn't know that ten minutes later we'd be speeding down the road zip zap zoom. And there was actually a moment when we thought we were lost,but it turned out that the 'Driver' (:D) was only trying to get us panicky. Which of course we didn't get-we were too busy laughing at Debanshu's regaling medical tales (:P), his digs at the kathiawadi accent( too bad,I think it's sweet!), and not too mention his filthier versions churned outta the devil's mind that he has at my and chinky's rather innocent statements! And just as we were about take a stroll,grab a bite perhaps Shobhit called to inform that Karn was at a'bad. Subsequently we went there and the rapturous hours ticked by. Today again was so much fun. Sanju and Priyanka didi were new additions today.And although today's events were planned, yet they were good. The bowling (in which I miserably lost to Shobhit. The only time I managed to get the ball on target was at the last ball when the guy at the score board took pity at me, grabbed my hand and did it for me :P ), the movie, the lunch, the time spent afterwards chit-chatting, laughing, strolling, laughing.

It amazes me! I remember so much about school even now. And it's not just me, the whole lot of us do. That's all we talk about actually. Just a few regular updates- how's college life?( urrghh..eeeuu..blah blah..urghh) , got lucky or not? ( hey,single and happiest!), a few more boring questions here and there and then- back to school! :) And it isn't as if we talk about a certain bunch of incidents all the time. Every time something different and progressively hilarious comes up. School talks are blissfully inexhaustible. :)

It also amazes me that the things that used to be so ordinary back in those days have now somehow become extraordinary. It's not like I don't have fun in college or I'm subjected to pangs of gloominess. No,none of it. Infact I have met some of the most wonderful people there, who continually keep me in high spirits. It's a different brand of amusement, but that too is good.
Sometimes however, I miss my old life a lot. But the good news is that no matter howsoever far our lives drift apart, no matter if we meet after one day or one year, when we get together we become what we used to be in school- playful, mischievous and extremely talkative school kids :)

It struck me last night that our class reunion last year was also on 8th july!

PS: As I was thinking of a suitable title for this post, this was the first thing that sprang up in my mind ( McD calling? :D) and I'm going to keep it as a respect to spontaneity!

PPS: I'm lovin' it is wrong english. Love as a verb never takes -ing form, also I'm no fan of american english( hypocritically enough I use a lot of it!) but ki fark painda hain :D

No reasons

I don't know what's it with me these days. Or is it the weather? I don't have any other reason.I sleep around three in the morning, get up latest by seven-thirty; Often as a result of the racket caused by the twittering of the little greyish birds I don't name of. And yet I find myself suprisingly fresh. I don't appear groggy, my eyes don't burn when I sprinkle water on my face,something that is characteristic of the exam season. Even before I open my eyes I become aware of the air current propelled by the rotary motion of the fan blades blended with the morning breeze.It is greatly distinguishable,even when both blow simultaneously.I remain perched on the bed for a while, vaguely staring nothing in particular, furrowing my brow as I try to recollect fractions of my dream. A few flashes of faces here and there and I stand up knowing that it's the best my mind can recollect. I go to the balcony first,to get an eyeful of the lush green trees,the morning fresh gardens, a sky of periwinkle blue that is crowned with the golden sun, the beautifully structured roads. I love the feel of the cool wind caressing my face,and especially my hair,matted after a night's sleep. Turning right,I find my father already settled up on a chair,reading a main paper, a second main paper and the finance supplement within hands' reach. I pick up the unattended tabloids that lie on the floor,the ones that always play a second fiddle to the main papers,to which my father never spares a glance.

I go to the drawing room next,before going for a wash,before paying heed to the teeth that need some paste,where my mother listens to a tarot card reader with rapt attention. "Oh,you're awake so soon?" She says,never irritated with the diversion that comes in the form of her daughter."I saw the tubelight switched on in your room/comp room late at night when I got up to drink water( she always gets up in the middle of the night to drink water,and I can't get myself to understand how come can she not sleep at a stretch!). When did you sleep"? I yawn and mumble some gibberish to her daily question,before hugging her. I don't think she expects a proper reply either. I step in the direction of the wash-basin, drawing back my steps only at times when I hear stuff like 'Leo raashee,aapko milta hain,the card of wheel of fortune'...

I have to begin,like I said with the newspaper supplements. I read The Ahmedabad mirror first,then the Ahmedabad times,culminating the supplement reading with DNA after hrs. Then I take on the main paper which by that time my father is finished with.Always beginning with the TOI. The headlines I think would cease to be called headlines unless they don't report something miserable,something catastrophic or something that pertains to violence.Skipping and Skimming news through all the pages,I reach my favorite page-The editorial page. My mood lifts when I see articles of my favorite columnists-Jug Suraiya, Bachi Karkaria. I like a few others too- Janardhan Roye,Madhumita Gupta,err..some Mr Krishnan etc. There's a column called The Speaking Tree. I find it good,but sometimes the stuff is so densely spiritual that I tend to lose interest halfway through the article. I scan the sports pages only when there's something significant going on. For less than special occasions,I conveniently ignore that part of the newspaper. I read DNA after that,only if I feel like.

The problem begins at around nine when I'm finished with the papers. I think of studying for the vivas,but the overconfident idiot in me complacently reminds me of the fact that I've already sat in four vivas with mimimal preparation,a major part of it done half an hour before the arrival of the external examiner,sitting with friends in the lobby and yet did satisfactorily well. No,it isn't worth putting my time into it. Definitely not. But then,what else? Oh,I could always start preparing for the exams that I'd be taking soon. For some reason,however I've lost that enthu..it's bad.It musn't happen,but I just don't seem to get the inspiration to sit down with it. I'm more than aware now than any other time that shortly I'd be standing at the same crossroads,the same transitional phase where I stood three years ago. Making choices are tough,especially when your future depends on it. How I envy those who are crystal clear about their destination from day one. I know, as the months draw steadily near,the adrenaline gush is going to get stronger. And people around you don't let you forget it even for a while. Suddenly,everything is moving with double the pace. Like yesterday when we sat with our books wide open in college(not studying), ranting about the delay,sharing tips to confund the examiner (:D),rolling our eyes at a guy who wore a shocking pink shirt,making plans about the movies that we'd watch together, darting meaningful glances at friends about the seeming gayism of a certain classmate (:P), still behaving every bit like a fresher, came barging in the h.o.d with the news that we have to select out electives for the seventh sem-right then! A second ago we were a bunch of kids talking nineteen to a dozen about totally irrelevant stuff,and a second later fully grown ups weighing the pros and cons of nanotech against biomed with professional interest. Life gets so stupendously speedy at times. After tomorrow,we'd officially be in the final year..jeez,I guess it'll take some time to sink in.

I didn't realize that I've typing for so long. I always type at a stretch,but today I've been very sluggish,wandering after every four lines or so. I think I should stop blogging this often,lest this too should become a task,not pleasure.

Chinky is officially moving out today. I thought I'd be in a very unstable state of mind today. But guess what,I'm not! No sorrowness,no melancholy background music in my head.I don't feel a thing. And I have no reason for it. Maybe,it's just the idea of parting and not the parting itself that is painful.Just as the way some people love the idea of being in love and not love itself. Plausible.Maybe I too belong to the same ilk,I don't know.

Anyway,I'm tired of typing and my tummy demands food. So long!

PS: This post script is only for my friend Priyal,who was rather grouchy after reading my last post-Apology! Abjection! I don't think you're a loser.You are the last person on the planet to be one. And even then you won't be! Please don't stop reading my blog. :)

an era ends

Now before I start getting all nostalgic and maudlin, I should mention the rofl moment of the day. As I, Anu and Chinky were taking out the vehicles from the parking,ready to ride back home a guy came out of thin air,went to chinky with his arm extended, fancying a handshake. I thought he was someone she knew and apparently she thought so too because she'd almost hoisted her hand. But just then he spoke- "Hi,I'm Chirag. I want a frandship with you' :D:D" Chinks was stunned beyond measure. Anu and I were trying very hard not to laugh out loud. After all the snubbing was done,we rode away giggling. God! That was something customary of cyberspace, not real life! :D

So,anyway..the hiatus is finally over! The trauma of vivas still remain but at least I'm done with the major cause of nail bitings. So,one might think that I'd be the happiest and most relaxed soul right now. The deduction,going by the premise is not incorrect-except that I'm not.

It's one of those low phases of life when you know things that are happening are nothing wrong.They're good,they're making everybody else happy,they mark the beginning of something new-maybe not for you but definitely for other people.Still you cannot control your ire,you are frustrated,you want to slow the time down,you want to do so many things you should have,say so many things you could have but most importantly you want to make things as they were a while ago. But you can't. You're not god. You can't undo things,you can't go back in time,you can't prevent the significant changes from surfacing in your life,you can't hold people back,you can't do anything about the fact that chinky is shifting outta vikki...

The first time I met Meenakshi (chal maan li teri baat kamini), it was way back in the year 2004, during the month of march. March end I think,because we were done with our boards and had all the time in the world to kill(oh,what an amazing year tenth class was). It was me,her and uttara and we got chatting about a guy we all knew. What of course we didn't know at that time was that this absolutely irrelevant person was doing us a favor of a lifetime- he was making us friends for life! In any case we got along pretty well,and then began frequenting each others' houses. We wondered how come we didn't know each other for so long! I shifted here during eighth. Chinks was here all along. And so the saga began. On every evening it was mandatory to go on long walks. Me,Chinky and Uttara( Anu,for some reason never joined us) used to spend those few hours blithely discussing funny stuff, merrily discussing the teachers and their eccentricities and stupidly discussing 'him'. God!! Why? What did we see in him anyway? He definitely was not worth the profuse attention that we showered on him. But I'm not complaining since it brought us closer :) At that time,I must admit,I was closer to uttara than chinky. Which is why I was far from being shattered when her family went to Canada for a year. Of course I felt bad, but it was definitely not an overwhelming feeling. There was no orkut,or facebook at that time. We never e-mailed or called. Honestly,we never felt like doing it. I was completely out of touch with her for a year or so. And then one fine day she came back and the timing couldn't have been better because I was in my first year of college and hated it-every bit of it.
From then till now-more than three full years. It has been a roller coaster ride.Like something out of the world from somebody else's life. I wish I could describe every moment of it,but no human language,no semantics can actually do justice to it. Besides I'm bad at casing emotions in words. Let me just say that,every time I think of those days,the things we said,did,didn't do (honestly I don't even remember a major part of it) something in the chest region lifts, something from somewhere exudes positive vibes, my eyes twinkle,I never fail to smile,I feel good,without knowing why the hell.
Of course I don't tell her these things...chadh jaaegi :D

But what can I say when she's actually happy about it(" I'm sick of a stagnant life.I want a change"). It all started with Uttara going away to Chennai,Palla to Hyderabad and then Anu will probably go out of a'bad for her pg. And I wish she really does. She so badly wants to. Chinky will be in a'bad only of course but no matter how much she says it's no big a deal and things will not change-I know they will. Distance is a bitch-I have affirmed and reaffirmed this time and again. This is nothing new to me. It has been happening since I was in school. Of all the people whose parents could have gotten transferred,only theirs did whom I was most attached to.One by one all my best friends went away.I used to think I was cursed but my mother told me-"look at it this way,for every best friend that leaves another arrives,and how many people can boast of having so many good friends,huh?" True,I used to think-For every Alakananda who went away Suchismita and Vandita arrived,when they went away Aditi came,and when she went away Chinky came-of course she wasn't a classmate( which I think was better that way).Anu was there all along ( fifteen years dammit!). It used to stop my tears but still I didn't want new people-I wanted them! They all said while going that they'd stay in touch,which they did too. But somewhere in the path,you lose touch.It's nobody's fault actually. Distance makes people fall apart. It's a universal fact-deal with it. Out of sight,out of mind-harsh,isn't it? But true to the core. The sooner we accept it,the better. I know it's bad. Falling apart is actually worse than falling out with each other.It might be bitter,but at least there's a defined ending. Abrupt endings,vague endings are the worst.
I would someday really like to question the bearer of the universe (if I could) about the dynamics of it,about the way universe functions. It's so unfair that people can just hop in and out of your life.It's so unfair that sometimes everything is perfect but the timing isn't. It's so unfair that you can neither do anything about it,nor live peacefully with it. It's all so unfair.

Anyway,back to reality. I hope Chinky finds her new abode better than this one. I hope Anu gets through her entrances and goes where she wants to. I hope that this year accelerates with supersonic speed. I hope by this time next year life gets much more certain and structured.I hope to get out of a'bad..oh no,there's probably no other city that I'd ever be able to love the way I love amdavad but you know what..now I need a change too. Chinky and my tagline- In hope we live!
As of now,there won't be any 11:00 PM messages saying- 'kamini,walk par chale?' ,' I'm at your parking;do baar nsp ho gai :D', 'utar bey',there won't be any dogs that she would chase for us,there won't be any peacocks we would gape at,there won't be any O.A whose enviable svelte would provide more atmospehere to the fumes of jealously,there won't be any 15 minute walk follwed by a 45 min lazying around in the garden,there won't be a lot of old things-But hopefully a host of new ones :)
Whatever be the case,this is big,this is huge.Chinky's moving out,Anu would be going out after a month or two and I'm on my countdown year....indeed, an era ends.

those were the days

Today was great.I was very flustered at the beginning of the day due to...some reason.But I feel sooo gooooood now :).I talked to Uttara for almost an hour this evening and to Debanshu for another hour just now.Two hours of school talks,which implies two hours full of undiluted laughter!! :) I am in such a jovial mood now..tra la la la :):):)
God! every time I talk to school people,I can't wipe that grin off my face for at least a day :)Debanshu was a classmate for twelve years.Most of us in the class had sticked around since first class.We've all actually grown up together,so it goes without saying what an amazing comfort zone all of us have.We still chatter like school kids at our reunions..about how Nair mam fell off her chair (:D),how Vishakha's dad came to school to register a complaint against Jagdale mam,how apurva had asked ruba if she was a boy or a girl(wtf! :D),about that infamous Verma mam's incident in 9th,about how everybody was paired up and subsequently how Mita mam said-"your class, it seems is very romantic"(:P),how our stupid the music classes used to be,how we used to sulk at the prospect of mass pt,how Gautam sir used to crack his poor jokes and the boys pretended to laugh their guts off,how we used to be sorted in four houses,how we used to practice like mad for those cca activities..ok i gotta stop.If I keep typing about my class,I'll probably take up all the cyber space! I loved my class,class people.I know everybody does, but then I'm sorry to declare that no class could have possibly been as amazing as ours was.We were the best class in this whole wide world :).I am so thankful to god that I was destined to meet these people.Such vivid memories! School life rocked big time-I get so elated reminiscing those moments that I don't even feel bad that college life sucks by the same magnitude.But I am not going to talk about college or college people when I'm in such a good mood. Uttara was not a classmate.She was a senior at school.But because we lived in the same colony and also because we used to share an amazing rapport with our seniors I address her and all of her class people with the hindi pronoun tu ( which my friends would say is a very big deal-coming from me, as I am an extremely pro-formal person).Nobody...nobody can crack PJs like Uttara does god..oh..god :D. Me,Uttara and Palla had actually contemplated to lanch a PJ magazine back in those days.It was so much fun,sharing silly jokes,making up sillier jokes.I remember those b'day parties where she was asked to entertain people with her jokes and I was invariably asked to mimic all the teachers..and I used to graciously oblige :P. The way I,uttara and chinky used to go for our regular rounds of walk,the way we used to share the minutest of details(we still do-only now on phone),the way all three of us had a crush on the same guy(yes yes I finally admit,I did like him for some goddamn reason :D),the way we had come up with code names(hahahahaha!!)-It was all so tremendously magical. Where are those days gone? Lost perhaps..in the bend of life.Growing up is painful.Teenage was beautiful.School days were...the english vocabulary is failing me.Let's just say,it would be my dying wish to relive those days again..:)

ps: Two posts in a single day.man,I'm addicted to blogging! :D

today's chronicle

Will the last day of college ever come??? I am so totally worn out.And also a little annoyed with my friends. I tend to message my classmates about every teeny-weeny thing/information I get,even when I know that they already know! But somehow the whole lot of them not only forgot to inform me that we're supposed to get the certificates stamped today itself,but also had the most obvious excuse up their sleeves-"We thought you already knew".Arre!! For future reference I am NOT calirvoyant!Now I'll have to go again on tuesday just to get two carbon imprints of hod's signature.And because I informed the remaining ones(who like me were uninformed) as soon as I got to know,they brought it from home immediately(who comes to college on time after all!) which means I'll be all alone..ohh it so totally sucks :x

Our juniors have formed a society called junoon. It's some kind of social service group.They were carrying out a clothes-donation-campaign today.I was happy to contribute :) I had very meticulously set up a reminder on my cell,so that I don't forget to take the clothes with me.Anyway, they got a very generous response.All the boxes were so full of clothes that they had to keep plenty of bags on floor.
I have noticed that I now use the reminder feature of my cell very often.And the funny thing is,every time I set up a reminder I end up remembering it without it's aid :D. Like yesterday,I had set up three reminders at 9 a.m for kanika's b'day in three different cells,but I called her around 12 a.m anyway :D
And inspite of all my peevishness at not being taken to ccd by my friends yesterday,and my empty claims of going there with or without company-I didn't go there today as well.Bhoomi and I were hungering after some yummy drinks with fancy and yet abstruse italian and french names. But Priyal is recuperating from her illness,and it would have been really tactless on our parts to not take the person who is almost a regular customer in most of the highfalutin food-joints across the length and breadth of the city :D :D (as I've said,birds of a feather :D)

Well,I don't have much to do as of now.Maybe,will read the book that chinky has lent me.White tiger-Arvind Adiga.And even though it has won the bookers prize this year,it appears boring.Chinky has alreay slammed it with her harsh criticism-and yet she's forcibly making me read it!! bolo,kya bolneka ab :D

ps: I really wish to meet my ex-classmate divya menon-nee nair :) I hope kuchh plan bane.
pps: I have noticed I use a lot of post scripts :P

daily mishmash

And yet another day in college gets over!Now just a day left for the term-ending. I don't why but for some reason,I'm feeling really bad about the sem-end this time. This was never the case till now.Infact,my spirits used to rise exponentially as the end of the semester approached...But this time it's different. And my failure to figure out the reason for such a sinking,desolate feeling is driving me mad! No amount of introspection is working.This too is new to me.I think I'm going mad...


Today was okayish( yes I'm aware that's no word but chalta hain). Got two files submitted today. Nehal ma'am deferred ec's submission because..well she has the authority to do so! Gave an impromptu viva-very unfair!! considering the fact we'll be having external vivas from this semester,and we have been forewarned that those people are ruthless!

Satyendra sir (more commonly known as Desai sir) asked me where were pressure relief or safety valves used.Of course,he said my casual answers (geysers,boilers) were 'not what he was looking for', because then he couldn't have said- "You being a lady,should know where it is used". Yeah,that was too much of a giveaway-"Pressure cookers",I answered-rather coldly. I mean..why? why are all girls thought to be cooks by default.huh! I don't cook..I can't actually! More questions on compressors followed,which were pretty ok.


A'bad is scorching these days. I'm losing apetite.All I desire these days is plenty of fluids to quench my insatiable thirst.My body is so full of fizzy drinks of late,that very soon it won't be incorrect to say that there's too much blood in my carbondioxide system. But I'm trying to switch over to milder options.Tried out two new drinks yesterday:lmn and seven up-nimboo.Both were good.No drink suits summer more than lemonade!
Yesterday Varsha,Vrunda and Priyanka had a hard time coaxing me to try a glass of sugarcane juice(Varsha used an unfamiliar word for sugarcane-shirdi or sherdi..aisa kuchh) with zero success .But I can't help it.I have an aversion for street food/drinks! I can never have drinks from stalls with rickety,rusty machines,unclean glasses,contaminated water.I can never eat paani-puris from roadside stalls the way my friends do.All I can see is those filthy nails plummeting into an equally filthy water. My friends hate me for this-for being such a killjoy (taunts ranging from-haan haan tu toh badi memsaheb hain,tujhe kaha ye sab pasand aayega to- frooti toh peele yaar,yeh achhi company mein banta hain, are directed at me). ho-ho-hold it! I'm sorry for being hygienic! But wait,that doesn't make me any less of a paani-puri lover.I just want the water to be mineral and the guy making them to wear clean,non-toxic gloves.That's it. As for sugarcane juice,I don't like it anyway.
But I think I've become terribly unhygienic after coming to college.I tried out ice gola once (but not from a street shop :)),priyanka and varsha(again!) had once, by ruse got me into eating sabarmati jail's pakodaas at rto.I thought it was delectable (but only till I was oblivious to the most hideously dirty frying vessel ever-the kind that can give my mum sleepless nights :D!).I've now also chucked the customary bisleri/aquafina and bartered them for more economical substitutes-yes pouches :D
I sometimes miss my older self.The days when I had cleaner and healthier food habits.

Last submission tomorrow. Hope it gets over soon.

ps: Man! I talk way too much :)

technoaspire,friends etc.

One of the things i like about college events is the fact that it has the ability of burgeoning your networking if you can use it to your advantage. And even if you don't,you at least can enjoy meeting people from different colleges,and more often than not your own college people too!(that of course depends on how sociable one is).After all there are so many students in college,it is not possible to have social contacts with all!But i've seen, like minded people,who hitherto were unknown to each other bond really well over these few days.

As for me,everytime such events happen,i discover and rediscover that i am innately gregarious.Infact i think,it is our prerogative-to be sociable.There is nothing better than talking to different people,mixing with them.Yesterday,i spent almost the entire day in the company of strangers,and i loved it!Sometimes it is so much better than being with a known set of people.I met two ex-KVian girls and a guy who too have been taught by both Sanyukta sharma mam(oh! what a gem of a teacher :)) and Vinyan mam.Our teacher talks never end :D. I also met a very interesting character...haha..what a guy!i met first of his kind- self proclaimed alpha male,ultra competetive,overtly and rather unabshedly conceited of his knowledge(even though i hate to acknowledge it,but yes i do think he was very very knowledgeable),total narcissist(here also i admit, for a very valid reason).and it is so obvious that such guys are prescribed male chauvinists,which is why i was very happy to beat him-twice! :)

And even though i say,i was more than happy to undergo some really enriching brainstorming gd sessions with such adept guys,those were the easiest five hundred bucks that i made :)

All in all a good day...but..(there's always a but;i am an incessantly crabby person,am i not?)..it could have been a lot better if i could help not pining for the presence of a few people :(

chalo koi nai..happens.anyway,i and priyal had a great time after the event,during the dj night.we shook our legs a little bit but then since neither of us felt like dancing anymore we sat on the f1 racing track,bullied nishant into buying us drinks(:D) and gossiped like mad!! :) .vaise toh we gossip a lot as such but that's mostly on phone.,such one-to-one bitching sessions are rare,and that too loud enough to be conveniently audible to the entire canteen!(but then maddeningly loud music always helps :P).I admire this girl a lot.We are very much the birds of the same feather:very amiable,very sociable and least diplomatic.I absolutely acknowledge the fact that the world can not be classified into black and white alone and that there are multiple shades of grey too,but then at times things can be so much simplified by just not changing one's stance and sticking by one thing.priyal thinks so too.I was so pleasantly impressed ,when she informed me that she's going to be in the core comittee,no matter what.all this,considering the fact that desai sir(oh yes yes,i do remember i owe him a post :D) is so stingent when it comes to anything extra-curricular.the man hates it when people as much as think of lingering anywhere else except for the labs.this was the main reason why most of us refrained from entering the manegerial committee,but priye did.and not only she became the event manager(case study-which btw was very successful),but she also was the first one to submit her project! i applaud her :)

anyway,so after we had filled each other with all the updates,we drove off.priyal took a long route(no matter what she says,i know it's not a short cut!), dropped me off at shivranjani.and then i took an auto to home.that's it! end of the day.we'll be having our submissions from monday.just a week to go,for this sem to end!

ps: i forgot to mention in the last post that i finally did complete my sketchbook and also got it signed from daddu-who for once didn't pinpoint any mistakes. :)

hukkaah-ahaa!

ok,enough of philosophical and literary stuff.this blog is tantamount to a personal diary(except that,it is largely public!)..and personal diaries are supposed to store all kinds of accounts-even quotidian ones.today too,was a regular day.got up around eight,browsed the newspapers,bathed,breakfasted..blah blah.went out with friends around five(i would like to point out that it is important to kick up your heels on sunday evenings,if you want to beat the monday morning blues-which btw never fail to show up :( ).it was pre-planned to go to a certain place called mr.beans,whose chic ambience,chinky vouched for.however,because the weather was rather sexy (apparently,these days any flattering adjective can be replaced by the word sexy),we(shobhit and sudeep would say this is debatable,if they happen to read it) decided to take a walk alongside the street shops at law garden.and no matter,how much those two claim it was a window shopping,it wasn't because chinks got bangles,and i harem pants.the most remarkable event was shobhit buying us(just imagine!) chana-zor-garam.i don't eat street food as such but it was yummy!and because the soap-bubble maker invoked the kids in us,we couldn't help not buying 'em :) .so,we walked and finally reached mr.beans,and also got ourselves a room,as promised by someone ;) (pun intended;though i doubt anyone outside the involved people would be able to grasp it). ordered hukkaah(bloody expensive!) along with other calorific,pocket-pinching delicacies.there were,three smokes in all-two amateurs,one professional(aunty refrained from taking a shot,and was somehow more interested in video-recording,which btw he sucks at :D ).now because i've put a small incident as the title of the post,i ought to explain why.simply because it was my first time :) i know,it's no big a deal,considering the fact that hukkaah is a paappad these days,but so what!it still was my first time,and as a first-timer i think i puffed pretty well (this again is debatable :p).so,basically we ate,drank(even chinky's horrible soda drink).puffed,watched a brawl..oh,yeah..that too was rowdily sexy(again the same 'in' jargon) :D,talked to karn(talk about perfect timing!),and gave shobhit some chance to try out his photography/videography skills,without much success though :D.we then drove away to vastrapur,to have some coco owing to our insatiable gluttony.bas, then we came back.i showed mum the soap-bubble maker-and the way she blows those bubbles-phew!i'd never again be able to claim my superiority over her in blowing bubble-gums! oh,did i mention,that i conveniently forgot to tell her about the hukkaah stunt? :D.but in my defence,a single,twenty year old needs some zing in her life!
rotfl moment of the day:
we enter the smoking chamber hazed with thick rings of smoke and chinky says-wah! sudeep toh jaise apne ghar hi aa gaya! :D

girl power

even though the title seems to orchestrate about women emancipation and stuff..it isn't quite so.a couple of days ago i happened to read an article in dna-after hours by koel purie about the comfort of having gal pals for best friends.i couldn't have agreed more! i really pity those girls who say they don't have a single girl friend and gloat extraneously of having guys as their best buds.it's sad..it really is.it's not that i doubt any boy's ability as far as friendship is concerned.infact guys are the best when it comes to stay in touch, contrary to girls who tend to fall apart,they're definitely more dependable,more available,more liberated,more frolicsome..but yet there are certain needs of the feminine mind that only a fellow female can fulfill.only girl pals would be, not only interested in knowing how exactly did the guy i have crush on smiled at me,but will also help me dissect the exact meaning of that smile.only they'll suggest me retail therapy as the perfect solution of beating the distress caused by workload.only they'll hurl insults(read:bitch about) at people they don't even know,just because they're tormenting me.only they'll tell me to draw a line or to make a move.only they'll throw a melody-centre fruit-mango bite-party for me because my viva went well.only they'll come on an eleven o'clock walk with me because i wish to talk to them.only they'll convince me that the world is full of possibilities and also warn me of the stingy people who lurk around in here,only they'll tell me off for wearing something that doesn't suit me before i strut around in it publicly,only they'll discuss body basics as comfortably as discussing roadies.they'll scold,they'll praise,they'll nag,they'll teach,they'll lead,they'll protect,they'll gossip,they'll alleviate all worries.maybe they'll not be around always,girls generally don't,but they'll always come around.i know it.and that exactly is the comfort of having girls as best friends.
thank god,i have chinky and anu in my life :)